Being a Stay at Home Mom is Hard Work!

So I stayed home with Nealie for her first six months and only went to school part time until she was one. The last two years, I have gone to school full time (or more) and had her in full-day child care. Even during the summers, I have had her at least in part time day care because I was worried about losing our spot for the next year. Therefore, the interaction that I have had with my own daughter has been pretty much limited to evenings and weekends for a long time. It has not been "my job" to entertain her and play games with her and find activities for us to do on a regular basis. My "duties" have included dressing her, changing her diaper, playing with her for an hour or two, feeding her and laying her down.

This is different. This is harder.

Nealie and I wake up around 8 am and we run through our own separate morning routines: Nealie has a glass of milk and watches Scooby-Doo or some other show, and I shower, feed the animals, zone out on the computer and eventually make breakfast and get us dressed. This has been a pretty regular part of our routine for the past year. What follows is NEW. You know those days where you play outside, play monster, read books, play with playdough, make food in the play kitchen and it's not even NOON yet?

Yeah.

So I've remembered what my saving grace was when I was a stay at home mom: OTHER MOMMIES. I needed adult interaction and I found that a playdate with another mom usually got me to naptime. The afternoon's a sinch if you can get past the gruelling morning hours. Nealie gets up from nap, takes about half an hour to come out of her nap trance and then plays outside with the dogs until it is time to make dinner. With the nightly summer baths that have become so necessary due to my daughter's newfound love of dirt, our evenings fly by, just as they always have.

The issue that I have run into is my lack of mom friends. Remember how I said that I basically saw my kid at night and on the weekends for almost two years? Yeah, I saw my mommy friends even less. I have a few great mommy friends that have accepted my workaholic ways and are offering up playdates but, having been out of the mommy loop for so long, I have made very few new mommy friends and I often feel confused in conversations. I feel slightly detached from that whole world. I've never been the kind of mommy that keeps journals of every little thing my daughter has done or her cute and outrageous comments. And I've always treated Nealie more as a little person than as my kid -- perhaps the curse of being an only child? Seriously, a common saying when Nealie acts up is, "Really dude, that's not cool."

Honestly, the hardest thing about being a stay at home mom is the lack of recognition and appreciation. When I work I bring home a paycheck; when I go to school I bring home a report card; when I'm a stay at home mom I bring home...Nealie. I remember when my husband and I used to say that she is the most important thing we've EVER done. Perhaps that reminder needs to be brought to the table. And placed as the centerpiece. Or said daily.

Good for you, stay at home moms. I know the work you do. I know how amazing you are. I appreciate you.